Whoa! 3 months passed quickly.
This fall I 'fell' into work long-term as a substitute teacher. This is my second long long-term assignment and I'm loving it. I've been working in the schools as a substitute for just under 2 years now. The assignment appears to be continuing after holiday break. The students in this class are a great bunch, though many are disinterested in doing the work needed to succeed. I feel myself stretching to engage these kids.
Having regular work, particularly work not-at-a-desk has created awesome changes for me, mostly in terms of mood and thought patterns. In addition, I was able to eat more closely to a paleo diet during September, October, and November. Since Thanksgiving I have not been adhering to the program. I've noticed drop-offs in my ability to focus and be alert, among other changes I cannot qualify so easily.
Even with these positive changes, I find myself continuing to struggle with the "What Next?" question. At this point I have been out of school for 4.5 years. Plenty of time to have picked up a second bachelor's, a master's, or steeped myself in a career, if only I felt strongly about what to do.
Teaching seems an obvious choice, as I grew up with with my paternal grandmother and grandfather, and both paternal great-grandmothers as teachers and have since seen my mom and sister join the profession. I've liked working with young people so far, as a substitute teacher, camp counselor, and swim instructor. This latest substitute assignment has helped me realize that teaching the same general concepts from year-to-year will still be a challenge as each group of students will be different. I'm still hung up on the profession itself, however. Hearing stories from other teachers in other districts show me that life as a hired teacher is not the same as life as a substitute.
At the moment I'm working in a district that is doing ok, with an established (older) faculty, and few jobs to fill. Some of the schools in the district recently received "fail" marks on the yearly progress exams, and the number of students in the district coming from poverty is increasing (but isn't that the case for many families, in many states, though especially Michigan, as we continue to weather the economic storm). When this district needs to find a teacher they can be choosy & hire the best for their money from a pool of graduates flooding from University of Michigan and Eastern Michigan University. In talking to teacher friends, this district has an anectdotally lower incidence of poverty and behavior problems, making it an "easier" district to teach at. In general, I find this to be true. The students I see may need a boost to do their best, but they have shown growth. Only a few young teachers can be hired at a school district of this kind, as established teachers who are satisfied and mid-career will find no need to uproot themselves.
The district I work for can be directly contrasted with the one a friend with close to 2 years' hired teaching experience works for. The district has many failing schools (per the No Child Left Behind standard), a greater number of behavior incidents and what appears to be a much higher poverty rate. Several young teachers are hired yearly, with high turnover, even with access to fantastic teachers coming out of the nearby state universities and colleges. Those who remain work much harder to teach students who often do not have the same community and family supports in place to allow them to simply learn in place.
The friends I have that teach at districts like this one ultimately choose to leave. It may be after a few months, as is the case with one friend, who couldn't deal with the scene. In another scenario, I see friends sticking out the hard work in a school with these challenges for a few years, earn the ability to handle most anything, and plan to take their resume to a school in a better district.
Unfortunately, with Michigan's economic slump since the mid-2000s, getting a job at a nicer school with a few years' experience already underway is increasingly difficult. As one senior member at my current district put it, anyone with experience was not considered in the last round or two of hiring. Public schools cannot "afford" it. Funding for public schools to explicitly hire more faculty arrives in a reactionary way, it seems, awarded to "failing" schools, by way of special grants. These grants are for schools that, once they stop "failing" standards, will no longer receive special funding. And then what? Will the school see a growth spurt in enrollment (and therefore funding) from simply becoming "mediocre", as opposed to "failing"? Unlikely. It's unsustainable.
Elsewhere in Michigan, I hear there is a public school district lamenting that not all of their high schoolers get the same opportunity to play on turf fields. Imagine that. There is the disparity among Michigan public schools that really grinds my gears when I consider entering the profession. A district with funding enough that they have mostly turf fields for the students. A second district with the inability to hire experienced teachers, even as they are experiencing their greatest need (my opinion) ever to support students coming from newly poor families. Another district still, with failing schools and students in dire need of support, only able to hire the faculty needed for the moment, while they are at emergency status, whose funding for teachers will expire as their need dissipates, or grant monies expire.
The biggest problem I see is a lack of recognition and reward for teachers. No matter where you work, in a well-backed district or a needy one, your work is noble. Every kind of student brings their own challenge. The work you do will be good. Increasingly, teachers have masters degrees, if not credits beyond that, and are always working on their continued education inside and outside of the classroom. Still, teaching as a profession, outside of the profession, is not given the kudos deserved. This article, What Americans Keep Ignoring About Finland's School Success, points more eloquently at the problem, which again appears rooted in a disparity between schools, thanks to the way public schools are funded.
This lack of recognition pervades my own thoughts about doing the work as a career. Even as I admired my teachers and thought the world of them, by high school I was thinking, "Oh, that teacher couldn't figure out what to do with a liberal arts/fine arts/science degree, so they became a teacher. I'll figure it out." I continue to struggle with this thinking that I assume other Americans share, that teaching at a public school is a concession more often than a profession. That someone, if capable, would choose a higher-status career over teaching. Even as I am frequently smitten with teaching, feel well-challenged with the workload and am often eager to cook up all sorts of amazing things for "my students", I worry about what that will amount to in the coming years. Little take-home pay, plenty of take-home work, the experience of never leaving the academia world for the "real world"(whatever that means), and the attitudes from non-teacher friends I already experience. Having graduated with now near-lawyers, near-doctors/dentists/veterinarians, feature film editors, playwrights, senior marketing execs, engineers, and a host of other celebrated professionals, I have been asked when I will give this up and join them. I've heard a few versions of, "But you are so [capable], why would you want to do that?" and "Are you really sure?" And I've heard positive attitudes as well. These come mostly from other teachers. Once the positivity came from a good friend, who was seeing the merits of teaching through the eyes of a lover, but for herself implied she couldn't do anything less than become a veterinarian. Not in the same conversation, of course, and I realize that one's standards are the most critical, but that is exactly the problem I'm experiencing. Self concerns.
And so, I don't know. I realize that I'm continuing to decide by not deciding. This is newly frustrating to me, as for most of my school career I have mindlessly made decisions by letting time decide for me. I attribute the frustration to my improved health & thinking, which I suspect comes from the paleo diet, as I've been more physically active in the past with never as much mental acuity. (Describing the mental changes is a whole 'nother post, one I intend to write. Truly night and day.)
With an interest in mindfulness and decision-making in mind, I am embarking on the Whole30. 30 days of restrictive paleo diet, including no dairy and few processed foods. Incidentally, doing a Whole30 is one of my 27 by 28 goals. Really want to see things in the most clear light and act on them.
No comments:
Post a Comment